i am about to put one in the air for all those who love me and held me down and continue to.
just getting started.
somewhere amongst fear, shame, guilt, ignorance, pain, hurt, and so many other things i managed to love me. i thought about all of these things as i began my journey today from london to amsterdam. despite all of these feelings that i endured at some point in my life or the other i managed to steadfast and believe that these things were not permanent. they chipped away physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and mentally…but failed successfully. not quite sure if i’d even say failed because in response to these insecurites i have been able to truly understand and articulate my narrative - my life - my words - my world - my experiences.
i am here.
i fought to get here.
i fought to live here.
this joy the world did not give to me therefore not one can take it away.
i found myself attempting to get to gatwick airport but be mis-directed and going 45 min. out of the way of my destination.
frustration did not ensue.
instead i was grateful to be able to see the beautiful scenery from london bridge to redhill on the train.
i listened to my ipod.
i am not only alive but i am LIVING, ms. thing!
don’t get it twisted.
there was a moment i just inhaled and gave myself credit!
i am SO FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF!
of course, i am extremely tight on funds - but i am a student + cancer patient.
that’s to be expected.
the being proud has come from a place of just sheer acknowledgement of my faith + work.
from london to amsterdam the engine on the plane was messing up - GAG, BITCH!
you know i wasn’t pressed.
i was like, “take your time, please.”
though, i was becoming more and more eager by the min to the point i developed a headache.
i am not sure what exactly is about to take place - but whatever it is…I AM DOWN FOR THE MOVEMEN!
alright, i am tired.
i have lots to do tomorrow + i am trying to save my little credit on this internet cafe.
AH, LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!
i have arrived, darling!
i have greatly enjoyed myself in good ol’ london.
i didn’t write much nor take many pictures.
didn’t feel it was necessary.
lots of MUCH NEEDED rest + great experiences.
i am packed up and headed to walk out of the door.
i fly out of gatwick airport.
gatwick express here i come!
i have amazing friends that i must thank for hosting me during my time.
i have no worries because i will surely reciprocate when possible.
the excitement for amsterdam can’t be contained.
shall write more, soon.
i wish all of my friends a fucking amazing semester as they head back to our campus from their respective locations.
my only request:
3. keep it cute.
4. think critically.
5. be generous.
6. make the professors think, as well.
because we are all learning; truth be told.
7. challenge the shit out of everyone and make them think + YOU think.
8. don’t let nobody get away with ignorant, ridiculous, FLAT OUT DUMB SHIT! esp. profs.
9. dress well - it always helps me.
10. do what makes you happy.
TURN THE MUTHAFUCKIN’ PARTY OUT!.
and these are all things that i do.
so it’s coming straight from the horses mouth.
i always take heed.
but that’s my humble opin-ee-on!
okay, off to pump through london town on this last day.
madonna + jesus.
i am always dressed to kill + the greatest dancer you’ve ever seen.
don’t wonder why.
i, too, sing america.
i am the darker brother.
they send me to eat in the kitchen
when company comes,
but I laugh,
and eat well,
and grow strong.
i’ll be at the table
when company comes.
say to me,
“eat in the kitchen,”
they’ll see how beautiful I am
and be ashamed –
i, too, am America.
- langston hughes
when it comes to love i deliver. your personal UPS.
my love is so much more.
i must admit.
i do find it quite remarkable listening to coldplay in london.
it’s like when i listen to jay-z in brooklyn.
i feel like i can check this off of my bucket list, now.
viva la vida.